T-shirt Slogan Accuracy

 
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I was stopped at a set of traffic lights just before 9.00 one morning. The woman in the passenger seat of the car in front of me was turned around, fussing over a little blondhaired child in the back. I smiled to myself, feeling all warm and fuzzy as my maternal side soaked up the tender scene before me.

(OK, so my boys had been away with their dad for more than two weeks and I was missing them desperately. I’m sure if I saw a kid screaming, “I WANT LOLLIES! NOW!!” the mother in me would have said, “Aww, what a cutie.”) I continued to watch as I waited for the lights to change. This means I was paying attention when the woman opened up her window and dropped a banana peel on the road.

Not just the brown bit on the end.

Not just the stringy bits. The whole peel. In broad daylight.

I was shocked—I didn’t know people still did that.

The light turned green and we both pulled into the petrol station on the other side of the intersection. She got out of her car and absent-mindedly adjusted her T-shirt. The shirt was bright red, with big white letters across the front that read: “I’ve been naughty.”

I don’t believe a T-shirt has ever been more accurate. I’ve never actually done any research on the topic though.

Maybe the girl in the “Princess” T-shirt really does have royal blood. Maybe the girl in the “Rock star” T-shirt has just had a number one hit in 17 countries.

Maybe the guy in the “No fear” T-shirt won’t jump out of his skin if I sneak up behind him with a big balloon and a tiny pin.

But the banana-peel lady might be on to something here. It could be quite useful to wear descriptions of your recent activities in slogan form.

If you ran into someone you hadn’t seen for a while and they asked what you’d been doing lately, you could just refer them to the shirt. It could say, “I’ve been driving in the country” or “I’ve been eating chocolate.” Although, if you’re anything like me, the chocolate smears across the front of your shirt would probably make that last slogan unnecessary.

On the other hand, it wouldn’t be such a good thing if we had to go around with descriptive shirts on. It’s one thing to display the positive slogans but I wouldn’t want people to read, “I’ve been yelling at my children” or “I’ve been avoiding a friend in need.”

If that were the case I’d want to keep my shirt covered with a slogan-hiding jacket, or jumper, or possibly a poncho.

Something warm and comfortable.

Something I can curl up in. Something with its own descriptive slogan to hide the one on my shirt. Or, even better, something that makes my slogan obsolete.

I know of a garment like this. You can wear it over anything, in any weather, and you never have to take it off. You can’t get it in stores, but I found it mentioned in Psalms 32:1: “Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”

The best news is you can get it for free—all you have to do is ask for it.

I’m not sure if it comes with its own descriptive slogan, but if it does I reckon it might say, “I AM LOVED.”

Now that’s accuracy